The Story of Us

I've been learning that God is... organized. He places things and people in places, like breadcrumbs, to help us achieve what we are supposed to achieve and be the best version of ourselves that we can be.

So it's no surprise that the story of Caleb and I is full of so many connections and God moments. And though we, mostly me, tried to do things my way and fumbled around, I eventually figured it out and all the pieces fell together.

I remember when he slid into my MySpace dms..🤣 Yup. MySpace. And not only that but he was like, "So, I've been thinking about who I would like to marry, and I keep thinking about you, so I thought I'd hit you up." 🤯😳

He was 19 and this was about a few weeks before I turned 19 as well. So we were very young. We also hadn't spoken in months, practically a year. Also, I had a boyfriend. So this was all very random, out of nowhere. Especially considering we'd never actually dated before.

But I was intrigued by his bluntness. And I had been planning on breaking up with my boyfriend but was procrastinating. I told him that and we decided to give it a shot. I broke up with my boyfriend and Caleb and I started talking to see if we would be a good fit.

So, why would this guy who I had never dated pop into my dms? I'll have to backtrack a few years. This part is a bit complicated, messy, and a little PG13. 😅

So rewinding back to 2004, I was 16 (going on 17🎶) and my family had just moved us from Miami to Central Florida. Some of the members of our church had moved here because it was a cheaper, calmer place to settle down. So we ended up moving and my dad started a church with those members.

This point in my life wasn't great. I'd just found out my "Christian" boyfriend had been cheating on me basically the whole time. I was angry at him, myself, and even God because I was "sure" he had told me to date him. 🤡

Shortly after, one of the church members had a cousin who moved up from down south as well, with her husband and kids. When they walked in the house the first time I realized I recognized one of them. It was my ex boyfriend from when I was 13. Mind you, he was my first kiss, but it hadn't gone well and I instantly felt like he was a brother to me. Like I even wrote that in my journal. We dated maybe one or two months total. But next to him was someone cute that I did not know. 👀😜

We hung out that day. Turns out he was my ex's cousin from New York who had moved in with them recently because he wanted to live in Florida. He was 17 so his parents agreed he could spend his senior year out here. I was also a senior. He was a Pastor's kid like me. He was a Christian. And he liked the same music as me. Oh and did I mention he was cute? 😍🤩

So we would all hang out. I quickly found out that he was a "good boy" who was kinda innocent. And the angry girl who was heartbroken wanted to make him less innocent. Bring him to my level. 😬🤦🏾‍♀️ So I made it very obvious that we could do stuff. And for some reason he took me up on my offer. We were basically friends with benefits. We'd make out, like intensely, and I'd let his hands go places they had no business going. But we were not a couple. In fact I had a few guys I did the same things with. Not bragging, just my testimony. Though I thankfully had the commitment to remain a virgin.

When prom came around he was my first choice though. But, he turned me down. 😭🤣 He said he wasn't even planning on going to his, so why should he go to mine? So logical and romantic, right? Anyways, I asked his cousin, my ex, because by this point we were all close friends, and he said yes, but the week of prom he bailed because he had to work and I was dateless. So I asked someone I knew from another church, who agreed to take me.

We both graduated. He moved back to New York and I decided to date one of the guys I was talking to. It was him I broke up with for Caleb a year and a half later. So he was still my first choice, and I just didn't want to admit it. I also think I maybe thought he was too good for me and that's why I wanted him to come down to my level, making us more on even footing. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I was shocked that he would consider marrying me knowing how I had fooled around with guys I wasn't even dating. But he says he saw my heart, a girl who loved God, and he was also happy I had never gone all the way.

And as for me, I was very much interested because he was exactly the man I'd been praying for almost daily for about 3 years. See, back when I was 15 I went to a church retreat where they talked to us about purity. I had already gotten a promise ring from my parents, but at this retreat they told me I could be very specific about the man I wanted to marry. So I made a list.

• Christian

• Tall, around 6 feet

• Dominican/ Puerto Rican (very specific 😆)

• Curly hair

• My color

• A virgin

• And loved music like I did

• Bonus request: I wanted to get married young

I got back from camp, and.... broke up with my boyfriend of a year, who was a great guy but the only check he had on my list was that he was tall. So, essentially this was another guy I broke up with for Caleb, even though I didn't know him yet. He was my first choice before I knew he existed.

Talking to Caleb I quickly realized he checked every box and then some. And he was already thinking about marriage too. But despite that, I was nervous. He'd never had a serious relationship before because he only wanted to ever date his future wife, so I felt a lot of pressure. And the last time I thought I had God's approval on a guy it blew up in my face, so I wasn't sure what to think.

Not to mention we discussed things in a detached manner. We weren't dating or in love. We just checked each other's boxes. Who knew what we would be like in a real relationship. Like we knew there was chemistry, but would there be more?

I shouldn't have worried. I was soon head over heels. We had our issues, and even some tough moments, but we'd been able to move through each. And I knew that with God in his heart we should do ok because if anything came up, I could leave him in God's hands to fix. And vice-versa.

As we got closer we realized how connected we were. His great aunts and some of his cousins went to my church since I was born. My mom and dad were the youth group leaders of his aunt, my ex's mom. I basically had grow up with most of his Florida relatives. My sister was best friends with his cousin. Even his grandmother had sometimes gone to our church and was friends with my grandmother.

Crazy coincidence 1: when his grandmother passed away, I was dating his cousin! (I was 13)

Crazy coincidence 2: my father preformed her funeral!

Crazy coincidence 3: we were both at the funeral but I stayed in the car because I hate funerals.

Crazy coincidence 4: his family had visited our church several times. So we're pretty sure we met as kids but don't remember. Like I have a vague memory of hanging out with a kid and his older brother while our parents talked for hours on end but I don't remember their names. Maybe it was him. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Like we had many close calls. I went to one of his cousins weddings but not all of his family went and he didn't go. And then he did end up going to another cousins wedding from my church but I ended up not going. And again I had dated his cousin! That feeling I got when I kissed him wasn't far off, he wasn't my brother but my future cousin in law lol.

While we dated I learned so much from him. He helped me draw even closer to God. I had always been made fun of for being a "Jesus Freak" and totally on fire for him. No one really got that side of me, but he did. We'd talk about God, pray, read the Bible, listen to worship music and more. And I knew he was the one.

We started talking wedding dates without even a proposal, but both sets of parents freaked out. He'd just turned 20 and I was 19. About a year after he first messaged me I basically forced him to propose lol. We were both 20. Over the holidays we were then able to convince our parents to trust us.

He moved back to Florida while we worked and saved up to get married and then July 26, 2008 we tied the knot. He was 21 and I was just 20.

I love to say that he was...

Custom made to order by God and delivered on time.

Our stats at wedding:

Knew each other - <4 years

Talking - A year and 9 months

Dating- A year and 7 months

Engaged - 9 months

Currently married - 14 years this July!

So, don't be afraid to tell God exactly what you want and pray for it consistently. He's a good father that likes to take care of his children. If he doesn't give you what you ask for it's only because he has something even better planned for you, so you can't go wrong either way!